funny haiku poems

I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm. ~Ogden Nash



I'm the walkingest girl around. I like to work at it - really get my heart pounding. ~Amy Yasbeck



It is in moments of illness that we are compelled to recognize that we live not alone but chained to a creature of a different kingdom, whole worlds apart, who has no knowledge of us and by whom it is impossible to make ourselves understood: our body. ~Marcel Proust



Give blood. Play hockey. ~Author Unknown



Choices are the hinges of destiny. ~Attributed to both Edwin Markham and Pythagoras



A stumble may prevent a fall. ~English Proverb



Rock music in its lyrics often talks ahead of the time about what's going on in the country. ~Edmund G. Brown



Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes. ~Author Unknown



A nation is a society united by a delusion about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbours. ~William R. Inge



The first step... shall be to lose the way. ~Galway Kinnell



What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child. ~George Bernard Shaw



Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into. ~Henry Beecher, Life Thoughts, 1858



How strange that the young should always think the world is against them - when in fact that is the only time it is for them. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960



Most people are willing to pay more to be amused than to be educated. ~Robert C. Savage, Life Lessons



Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. ~Author Unknown



No man acquires property without acquiring with it a little arithmetic also. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep. ~W.H. Auden



How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. ~Zall's Second Law



An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret



Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you; you must acquire it. ~Sudie Back