funny quotes about dogs

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. ~Errol Flynn



If a fanatic is willing to give his life for a cause, he's probably willing to give yours as well. ~David Gerrold



We have to show these men and women freedom by enslaving them, and show them courage by frightening them. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 19



If anyone were to be willing to trace his descent through an ape as his grandfather, would he be willing to trace his descent similarly on the side of his grandmother? ~Samuel Wilberforce



The answer to poverty is not charity, the solution to abortion is not laws, the key to saving the environment is not recycling. As Thoreau so wisely noted, we must strike at the root, not hack at the branches. ~Tere Saudavel



When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself. ~Louis Nizer



Tears are Summer showers to the soul. ~Alfred Austin, Savonarola



I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House - with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined here alone. ~John F. Kennedy, to his Nobel Prize-winning guests



You have to wake up a virgin each morning. ~Jean-Louis Barrault



Games of chance are traps to catch school boy novies and gaping country squires, who begin with a guinea and end with a mortgage. ~Author Unknown



Sleep lingers all our lifetime about our eyes, as night hovers all day in the boughs of the fir-tree. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it. ~Stanley Garn



It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends. ~Nancie J. Carmody



Lost time is never found again. ~Benjamin Franklin



How did I know that someday - at college, in Europe, somewhere, anywhere - the bell jar, with its stifling distortions, wouldn't descend again? ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 20



If your parents didn't have any children, there's a good chance that you won't have any. ~Clarence Day



There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up. ~Rex Stout, Death of a Doxy



I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better. ~Plutarch



I never ask God to give me anything; I only ask him to put me where things are. ~Mexican Proverb